ha Ha! bt have admitted they got it wrong. so the explosion threat has subsided for the moment. Have rung bank who are giving me back my money although now i will owe bt £12. Oh well I have my money back so can now get a suit for my interview next week - haven't got any as they all fall off if I walk too quickly - question is - trousers or skirt? mmmmmmm almost as difficult as the 5 year plan.

having got all chilled out bt have managed to piss me off yet again. I rang them to find out where my complaint had got to and guess what they managed to cut me off - *!*!!*!*!*!*!!*!*!!**!*!*!!*! is all I have to say. I am about ready to explode. Further updates later - although if there is a sudden darkcloud over east london it may well be that I have exploded

Having a had a bit of a think about life, the universe and everything my brilliant 5 year plan is ready. i think I'll do what I have always done and go with the flow. Although its not been always successful, for the most part i have enjoyed life especially the last year and as I dont have any great career aspirations I think it will do. I would like to do something more practical so I will try and work on the massage thing, build up a customer base and do some more courses - probably hot stone therapy and reflexology. But for the rest of it I am going to just be me. Go where the wind blows me, so to speak (coz it would take a hurricane to blow me anywhere) and enjoy the world and the people in it.

Last night said goodbye to a good friend who is off to France for four weeks - lucky thing.

Well the bedroom decoration project is in the planning stage. Think I might have picked the colours - think I quite like the idea of blue and a beige (the beige being one of those suede paints). Thinking I might get a new bed as well and wardrobes. Make it all new for me. The cheeky git of a boy has also picked out paints for his room - I hadn't even mentioned doing his room. He then tells me that where he was ill last year and spent a lot of time in bed - he has picked a load of paint off the wall. So I suppose I ought to do his room - that might have to be later in the year.

The ongioing saga of BT has not yet reached resolution - I might have to give them a ring although I'mnot sure if I can be bothered. They haven't replied to my letter of complaint - they have had a week - honestly they are bloody useless.

Post just arrived - how exciting I have an interview for a job I applied for ages ago. Have to give a 5 minute presentation. The job is considerably better paid than the one I am in and is permanent rather than temporary promotion. I really didnt think I would get an interview. Oooh I am soooo excited!!!

Wimbledon it was not

Having just returned from tennis with the boy I'm sure I will never recover. All in all it wasn't too bad I won the first set 6-0. However the second set was tied at 1-1, then the boy won again at which point my legs, arms, and rest of my body cried out NO MORE!! So apparently I forfeit the game. Luckily I am not overly competitive so thats fine with me. Tomorrow will be a different matter...................

yesterday was just soooo hot. Spent the afternoon in MFUs garden sipping wine and chatting. Met miss tearful (or tiny tears) new man. He seemed nice if a little overwhelmed by the coven that greeted him in the garden.

We eat the chocolate cake - which was scrummy. However if all you eat all day is a very rich chocolate cake and drink wine - you end up with quite a bad stomach ache. Never mind it was worth it.

On a very positive note - I appear to have lost more weight, which is good in one way but bad in another. Good - coz I have plenty to lose. Bad - coz even more of my clothes will be too big and I will need to replace them - i really do need to finish off my massage course so that I can start charging. The next practical is in september so hopefully i will be able to get on that one and then i can finish and start making some extra cash

On my shopping trip to stratford yesterday I bought four tennis balls. Unfortunately on testing this morning they are more suited to cricket than tennis as their ability to bounce is nil.

Well yesterday I did some of the things I wanted to although the cleaning was a bit cursory - it was hot. However I did find out that cleaning with nothing on in the heat helps to keep the temperature down. Not that it would have been a pleasant sight for anyone watching, but as I had the house to myself all day there was no one to see.

I learned how to upload videos from youtube to facebook so spent some time playing around with that. I also baked a chocolate and cola cake. This is a scrummy cake and of course has no calories. It is coming on a trip with me this afternoon to CGs where it will be eaten while we sip a glass of wine.

I have also started to think about my five year plan. The first question of course is where do you want to be in five years and what do you want to be doing? This is difficult - in five years the boy will be either at uni or working or travelling and therefore mostly independent of me, so for the first time in my life the question is truly about what I want from my life. Most of my life has been spent falling into situations, without really thinking beyond tomorrow - the one exception being my son, for whom I planned and planned and had almost given up. Most of the jobs I have had, came to me rather than me going after them. So what do I want and where do I want to be - I know the answers to both questions just need to work out how to get there.

hints for stratford shoppers

If you must go shopping then please note:

1. Do not stop abruptly in front of me - you will only cry when i shout at you

2. when entering a shop as a group don't then stand in the entrance while you try and work out how many baskets you need - the abuse you received was fully justified and did not warrant the abuse back

3. If taking a trolley out or any other apparatus on wheels - do not let your children steer it - although of course they may be doing a better job than you could - it must be difficult whilst dragging your knuckles along the floor.

4. And finally if you are going to follow me home then at least offer to carry my bags for me they were f***ing heavy

Hooray the holiday has started. I was thinking yesterday that it was laying in tatters but today I am much more positive. I have a couple of games of tennis with the boy over the next couple of weeks - if of course he can fit me in. We may go to Thorpe Park, although I will have to overcome my fear of big rides. I noticed that Sainsburys are doing a buy one ticket get one free when you spend over £40 so next time I shop I will be getting tickets. Then there is the radio show next Saturday - its a play by and with Miranda Hart. It looks very funny. I have two tickets so volunteers for a night out please apply. Then there is the beach party. Me and a few girlfriends are going to spend a day sipping cocktails, listening to music and pretending we are in some exotic location. Oh and then there are a few other places I want to visit and some nice long walks in the country with the dog.

The boy has a rugby camp at the end of the holiday and then there is always the shopping trip for new uniform. In addition I have a number of essays to write a which I will knuckle down and do and I need to do some exterior decorating as well as my bedroom. I'm not now sure whether four weeks is going to be enough. Then I think I will have a bit of time thinking about of time to consider where I want to be in ten years time. This I find is always a good thing to do. It focuses the mind on the things you need and the things you want (not always the same). I suspect this will involve me in being a little less others focussed and bit more me focussed.

I have just spent the most bizarre 5 minutes in a lift that seems to have a mind of its own. We got in to go to the ground floor and it started to go down and then went up and then went down without stopping. I did wonder whether I was going to spend the rest of the day in the lift just going up and down. The same lift also has a habit of displaying SS instead of the floor number. This is very offputting for my colleague who is Jewish.

On another matter - my recent rant at BT has stilled not been resolved. I have written to them and I have had no reply as yet, which means that I may have to contact them again. Not sure if I can bear the idiots who only seem to be able to read out what their card says.

Well I have just had a go at the virgin radio 80s quiz. I got to question 8 before losing all three of my lives. I am truly shite at music.

I have weekly torture session tonight - apparently my niece may be joining us. I am sure that this is so she can impress me with her flexibility and brilliant yoga technique and appear better than the others in her class - namely me. Last week I appeared to have lost my balance as I almost fell over on at least 2 occasions. Of course my teacher did not laugh at all!

Today work was going really well until my email system decided it was going to operate like a snail. At which point I really lost it and find myself in a well pissed off mood now. Can't wait for today and tomorrow to be over at least then I have two weeks off

Mr Grumpy is getting a little upset at his nickname - although after yesterday evenings performance up town I am even more convinced that it is an apt name for him. Just walking down the street was a chore. Admittedly a couple of people did bump into him and he claimed that one woman stepped out in front of him without warning (personally I think he was enjoying that one). However this is normal for London. Then there was the sports shop- which was apparently too hot. In the end he went and stood outside.

I had agreed to stop callling him mr grumpy, but now I am reconsidering......

The boy is now off school for six weeks. Yesterday I was surprised when he was up at 10:30 - I am sure that will be midday by the end of the week. We are going to play some tennis at some point - possibly next week. We may go up town to have a look at a shop I found yesterday which the boy is quite keen to visit. Well thats all for now.

I am not in work today. Reason - I woke up this morning in absolute agony with the most severe stomach pains I have ever had. In addition as I walked down the stairs I pulled a muscle in my calf. I now know how the grumpy one feels -aches and pains all over the place - no one he is always so grumpy!

I tried to upload some video from glastonbury the other day, failed miserably - I may have to ask for help. The grumpy one is even grumpier now - his brother has apparently adopted this new form of address and for some reason he is not pleased by it.

Yesterday I had a great time shopping with my sister in Basildon - she is the queen of bargains. I love going shopping with her. We are going to return with my niece. Speaking of which she has muscled in on my yoga class - I don't mind it - it will be great.

The boy only has two more days at school and then five weeks holiday. Fortunately for him I am off for four of those weeks. He will love having me around. I have been thinking about things to do in the holiday. Last summer I went to the Greenwich Observatory and I think that will be worth a trip again this year. I almost went to the Museum of Childhood at Bethnal Green but changed my mind at the last moment so I think I will take a trip along there as well. I have also promised the boy a game of tennis - lord alone knows what I have let myself in for. I may also go to a theme park - perhaps thorpe park -that should be fun. As for the rest of the time I have thought about decorating my bedroom so that might finally get done - still can't pick a colour but it definitely needs doing so I will have to make a decision soon. Any ideas on colour gratefully accepted.

I need to become more assertive. I have been told by a number of people this week that I am too soft and get pushed around too much. This is probably true and I thought I was doing better since the management development centre that I attended, where an occupational psychologist told me the same thing. Obviously though I am not progressing as well as I had imagined. So from now on others better watch out!!

The other thing I need to do is get some savings together. I was hoping to take the boy on holiday this summer, but its not going to happen. So I need to get some savings together and take him away in the October half term. Not sure where yet.

I think I may stop giving sports massage to men. The reason is simple. They are such delicate creatures that any sort of pressure seems to result in them screaming - well perhaps not screaming but there is certainly a lot more grunting than when womenalso have a massage. They are insitent on having full massages done rather than just the injured part - my son informs me that this is because it is nice! Well thats all right then!

So last night found me tucked up in bed at 5.30pm with an impending migraine, however I had to drag myself out at 9pm to pick the boy up. Once home straight back to bed and my own little dream world - which I have to say is getting more and more bizarre. The other night I dreamt I was having a picnic with Anthony Hopkins and a load of kids in the middle of a very busy road. We had a nice chat and then I went and played with the kids. I'm sure it means something but I cannot for the life of me think what. I don't remember any of my dreams from last night but that may have been down to the fact that most of the night was spent with me wondering whether my head was going to explode. Well the headache has cleared up now - thank God. Tonight I have yoga (my weekly torture session) and then a quick massage for the grumpy one (so there goes my resolve above)- try and help his leg along a bit, I don't want to get the blame for a poor performance on Sunday.

So last night found me out walking and watching some amateur football games. The grumpy one was commenting on the standard of play and I dutifuly listened, however when I started to take an interest in the game suddenly it was time to move on.

This morning I got a DAB radio off of Virgin Radio. All for sending in a simple text and having a chat with the OC. Great!!

thank God its hayfever season, although in my experience commuters on the tube do not notice others distress. I had one of those 'epiphany' moments on the train this morning and only just managed to stop myself turning into a blubbering wreck. I think my brain has been working up to it over the past couple of weeks - it would be nice if it had warned me that it was going to come to a conclusion this morning.

The weekend was quite relaxing - especially yesterday. Pottered off to church in the morning and then a bit of ironing and watching tele for the rest of the day - oh and a massage for the boy. Perhaps that explains the epiphany this morning - its not often I relax to that extent.

Anyway another busy week is ahead - have to pop out this evening and then up the rugby club tomorrow - a massage for one of the guys, nothing wednesday night - thursday is yoga and a massage for a friend and then out and about saturday and sunday. And of course there is the day job which I thought would be fairly quiet this week, but I find that my diary is quickly filling up.

Well last night was great. Darts were on form and the 100 club is a brilliant venue. Will definitely be going back. The grumpy one was particlularly grumpy at the beginning of the evening - something to do with fisher price radio, traffic difficulties and a shirt that was, shall we say, interesting!!

Hoorah - almost the weekend and what an exciting one I have lined up. Tonight is the swimming club committee meeting. I have spent the last week sorting out the accounts only to have my computer crash and seemingly to have wiped most of the stuff for this year. Technology drives me up the wall - anyway I will sort it all out over the summer in time for the AGM. Tomorrow is even better with cleaning, washing and ironing and a meeting about the Church finances and then tomorrow night I am off out. Now 3 of those I am off out with know me from a long time ago, but have not been out with me for many years (well one has but I have remained restrained). I am not sure that they really appreciate what I am like when out - and the worst thing is takes no alcohol for me to behave in a totally wild manner - so there is no stopping me. I suspect I may be banished to a different carriage on the tube on the way home and possibly asked to walk 10 yards either in front or behind them when we get off the train. The funniest thing is they think they are going to be the wild ones!!

Finally I have internet back. Hooray. Trouble is the boy had to catch up with all his friends so he has spent all day on here.

The weekend was busy busy busy. The grumpy one was on the radio and may I say a little near the mark at times. But as always it was a wonderful show (have to massage his ego every now and then). then I watched a game of cricket on sunday in the rain. I really need to get a life!!

So we did it!! We went to Glastonbury did the festival and returned in one piece. The journey down was a challenge- quite frankly the speed limits were aspirational - not just because of traffic but because Daisy, a white van, was unable to get above 60 for most of the journey. Overtaking took careful planning.

On arrival we were laden down with numerous bags and a trolley which was heavier than the stuff we were carrying and then we were given a load more bags including rubbish bags. Two and a half hours later the tent was sort of up with me on the hunt for black market tent pegs. We had been good and left the metal ones behind only to find that the biodegradable ones wouldnt go into the ground orif they did promptly broke.

The festival itself - what can I say - fantastic. We spent the weekend laughing, looking confused, and drinking. The weather was great and we both have pretty good tans. The lack of talent on display in our age range was deplorable, but there was nice some eye candy in the younger market and there was some dancing with one really nice guy - however on the return of his female companion that was brought to an end. Shaky was great and pissed, but I think the highlight for me was Newton Faulkner singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Am I going next year? Of course - although the grumpy one informs me he is coming and it has never been dry at Glastonbury when he has been there - so perhaps I will leave him at home!!!